#but by now i just need something new. maybe im just thinking too much of media and i just truly want a change in my life
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must be love
— you find sae’s phone opened, and you decide to snoop.
or; sae gets exposed for being a fake idgafer. this is too sappy. 2.7k words, this is my longest fic in my whole life… what life feels like as a girl who loves too much core
tags: @narcjsistx
— for rhi. love ya, partner.
‘she seems really eager to please,
but she has quite the backbone.’
you huff out in frustration. “ah!! ugh…” you scowl. sae raises his eyebrow. “my groupmate never started on her share of the work… ugh, now i have to cram it..!” you explain your sudden outburst. sae scoffs. “then tell your teacher or something. it’s not like i can do anything about it, im not your teacher.��� he, quite obviously, points out. “wh… ugh, i’m gonna… i just— needed to let out my anger.” you groan, face planting and screaming into your textbook. and he hums in response. although he didn’t show it on his face, your outburst was quite out of character for the person he had grown to know. it was… weird, to say the least. and it had caused him to make a mental note not to anger you.
‘her generosity knows no bounds.’
“sae, this is for you. merry christmas!” you hand him a wrapped box. “hm..? i don’t take christmas gifts.” he bluntly states. “i haven’t gotten any gifts since i was 10 years old.” you scoff to yourself. “maybe that’s why you’ve always got that stick in your ass.” you tease. “excuse me?” he glares daggers at you. “aaaanyway! open it!” you shove the box into his hands. he looks at the box, and then at you, and he decides to open it. “new cleats.” he acknowledges. yes, mhm. these were indeed cleats..! “i didn’t need these, i was going to buy them myself.” he states.
“i know, you could probably buy them yourself. but, i thought i’d save you the hassle, y’know?” how thoughtful of you. he eyes the cleats up and down; it’s an expensive brand, but it’s worth the price for the quality. “…thanks.” he says, at last. he didn’t expect a gift from you, he doesn’t have one prepared for you. he’ll make sure to buy you something you’ll love later. “oh! hold on, i wanted to give you some other things ♪~” you fish a keychain and envelope out of your bag and hand it to him.
“…cinnamoroll..?” he questions. “it’s cute right? i thought you’d like it.” what an odd way of thinking… never once has he mentioned anything about cinnamoroll. but then again, it is pretty cute. “…well, i won’t say i hate it. thank you.” he thanks you as he eyes the envelope. “ah, don’t read it in front of me..! i got a bit sappy, it’s pretty. embarrassing…” you awkwardly laugh. “ah, got it.”
later that day, he opened the envelope. there was a letter; it had cute doodles all over. and, he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel your affection radiating off the letter. it was… really sweet.
‘what a beautiful human being she is.’
itoshi sae is what you like to call a shy lover, if you were to put it kindly.
you know for a fact that he loves you, he just isn’t good at verbally expressing it. words of affection are too sappy for him. he prefers to show it through the thoughtfulness of his gifts, and the longing touches of his hands, which seem to never leave your’s.
you know he loves you. but, you can’t help but wish for him to say it more often.
it wasn’t many nights lately that the two of you would have a date night. with sae’s rigorous training schedule and endless interviews, the only thing he wants to do at night is to fall asleep beside you.
however, today was the end of the season. meaning, sae would have much more free-time for you.
with sae’s last game for the year completed in 0-4, the first thing he had to do was call you. even though you weren’t far away at all, sitting in the VIP lounge with the relatives and girlfriends of sae’s teammates.
“s/o?” he calls your attention. “mhm? congratulations on your win, babe! i knew you’d win.” you congratulate him. “they could barely keep the ball when they had it. is it really an achievement for me to have won this match?” he says, almost sassily. “pssh— alright. i get it, mr. ‘tepid.’.” you tease.
“don’t call me that.” he huffs. “stay where you are. i’ll go to you.” he commands. you hum in acknowledgment, and he hangs up.
he doesn’t keep you waiting too long before showing up. “there you are…” he sighs in relief, kissing you as his hands automatically find themselves on your body— one tangled in your hair, and the other resting on the curve of your spine.
once he finds the will in himself to finally pull away, he’s breathless.
he looks like he wants to say something, but he holds himself back, his fingers flowing through your hair. “…get ready for our date later tonight, yeah? formal wear.”
you nod, and his lips curl upward. “i’ll see you later.”
you decided to go all out, pull all the brakes. and when sae picks you up in his car, he can’t help thinking that you look like a dream. ‘are you sure you aren’t a model?’ he muses to himself. his heart twists, and the fat of his cheeks redden with affection. your hair flows like silk, and that glimmer in your eyes was once a star, handpicked from the skies, he’s sure of it.
everything about you encourages him to keep staring, but he manages to get ahold of himself. “…you…look beautiful.” is the only thing he can get himself to say. but, beautiful doesn’t seem to encapsulate it, not at all. it’s not even close. beautiful is only a fraction of what he thinks. “heh, you think so?” you ask. “yeah; beautiful.” he assures. “let’s go.” he says, barely turning his attention away from you as he turns to the road.
the drive to the restaurant is quiet, but sae’s mind is screaming at him. his eyes can’t stop moving back to take sneaky glances of you. he drinks up your beauty like a serpent, and he still hasn’t had his fill.
“…we’re here.” he pulls the shift into its’ brake. he gets out, and hands his keys to the valet boy— his words are inaudible through the car door, but he quickly finishes his conversation and moves to open your car door.
you take your first step out, and his hand immediately moves to help you out. god, you might be even prettier under the gleam of moonlight, shining like the pearl of the planet.
his arm moves and snakes around your waist, guiding you into the restaurant under the flash of paparazzi cameras. he grimaces at the loud, pitchy voices of news interviewers, begging for a comment; anything for a headline quote.
the gentle touch of his fingers tighten, as he silently encourages you to walk faster, and lose the crowd. the two of you hurry up, and dash into the restaurant, where you’re greeted with a dim candlelight, mahogany walls, and the rhythmic trumpet of jazz.
“welcome, mr. itoshi.” the receptionist greets. “your table for two is right this way.” she quickly guides the two of you into a secluded part of the restaurant, just like he’s always done as to make sure neither of you are spotted and harassed in public.
lamps hang on the walls, creating a romantic atmosphere. and the curved dark-brown leather booth couch perfectly complements the dark oak roundtable.
the date isn’t too different from the others. the two of you chat about anything that comes to mind. but, it’s actually more like it’s just you chattering on, and sae listening as he admires that excited grin on your face.
on the outside looking in, it’s obvious how he has heart eyes when he stares at you. he’s in a trance as he listens to the rich honeying sweetness of your voice; his finger traces the lines on the roundtable, wishing that it’d be the crinkles of your smile he’s tracing when he blinks and opens his eyes again.
his trance is broken though, when his phone rings. damn it, he forgot to put his phone on do not disturb… “something wrong?” you ask sae, and he takes his phone out of his pocket. “not sure. there shouldn’t be a problem, i cancelled everything for tonight. ugh… just a second, amor…” he remorsefully takes your hand in his as a silent gesture of apology. he took too long to pick up the phone, it already went out…
he opened his call app, and saw that it was from his publicist, dabadie. he groaned before picking up.
“sae! you didn’t mention that you’d be going out on a date today, your paparazzi shot is already all over social medias..!” he worriedly stammers. “i didn’t? well, whatever… it’s just a date photo anyway.” sae shrugs, speaking quietly to ensure that you don’t hear. “right— but… you know the internet… they might criticize you, and say that she’s distracting you from soccer…”
sae is about to correct him— he’s about to say that you aren’t distracting him from his career, but he holds back once he remembers that you’re right beside him, eagerly waiting for his attention to be back on you.
“i… have to speak to you for a second, im already outside the restaurant… the paparazzi didn’t censor out the location well enough either… so, the agency’s security car will follow you two home…” he adds on. sae sighs. “i have to speak to you too. i’ll meet you outside.” he hangs up. he huffs in exasperation and shallowly drops his phone, making it clatter on the table; the screen is left open on his call record. “im sorry, amor… i have to quickly take care of something, i’ll be back soon, i promise.” he kisses your hand.
“hmph, don’t worry. it’s dabadie, right? he’s always worried about something…” you laugh. of course you’d be understanding about it. you always understood. “heh, that he is.” he sasses before leaving the table.
…and you can’t help but notice that his phone is still open.
his phone is practically yelling at you, “check out what’s on me, s/o! check it out right now!”, and you simply can’t resist the temptation to!
first, you simply scroll around at his call record; nothing too interesting, it’s filled with calls from dabadie, and you. as well as occasional calls from his mom. how tepid, as sae would put it. you exit the app, and find his home screen wallpaper to be a picture he took of you; you’re looking out into the distance, the large castle of sleeping beauty in the background.
you smile to yourself at that cute photo, and move to his photos; it’s filled with photos of you, and almost none of him— not unless you were beside him. you scroll down to check out his older photos; they’re childhood pictures, only a few of them are with rin included.
…
…anyways, ‘what is in sae itoshi’s notes app?’, you ponder. you open his notes app.
‘things i want to eat: 1. omelette, 2. paella, 3. pesto pasta’
‘onitsuka tiger mexico - kill bill/grey, new balance 2002r - grey, asics gel NYC - oyster grey’
‘laundry’
‘i love you’
you laugh at the randomness of his notes, quickly scrolling through them. it’s true when they say that a boy’s notes is truly random.
but that last note catches your eye. it’s a pretty odd note that just says ‘i love you’ with no additional text. and, it makes you wonder.
sae’s an organized person, more or less. so, his notes must be filed too. and, you’re correct. there are three files; ‘lists’, ‘important documents’, and a file with your initial as its’ name.
the other two don’t seem as interesting, nor seem as mysterious. so, you click on the mysterious file.
and, the file is filled with everything about you; he’s written down your birthday (including the time…), your family members’ names, foods you like to eat when you aren’t feeling well, shows that you like to watch… everything.
and, there’s a note that catches your eye. it’s a cut-off sentence, since it was too long. you decide to feed your curiosity and click on the note.
‘she talks to everyone, even the people she doesn’t like.
it takes a lot to piss her off.
she’s always kind to me, after all.
she seems really eager to please, but she has quite the backbone.
she works really hard, but i don’t think many see it.
her generosity knows no bounds, and she always knows what kind of joke to make.
i didn’t think it was possible for a soul to be so beautiful.
nor, that someone like i would meet a soul like her’s.
but, im grateful to the stars above that i met her.
someone as kind as her deserves to receive all the love she gives.
i don’t think she knows how loved she really is though.
what a beautiful human being she is.
there simply isn’t enough words to describe the way her dimples crinkle when she’s happy.
the day she was conceived, the gods must’ve tenderly sculpted her heart out of ivory and gold.
the way she enamors everyone in the room simply by walking inside, and the way her personality shines in her rushed, yet sweet handwriting.
one day, i hope she’ll finally be perpetually happy.
so, that she can always shine that enchanting smile of her’s.
she deserves all of it.’
was this a poem..? it didn’t seem like it, it didn’t rhyme, and the stanzas didn’t have equal amounts of lines… but, the way he worded it out almost made it seem like he was a poet.
you don’t… even know what to think at such a romantic confession. it’s certainly much more than sae has ever verbally said to you. but, the fact that he had written this with you in mind makes your heart pound like crazy.
you’ve always known that sae loves you, but seeing his private thoughts all written out for you to read was… overwhelming.
“going through my texts, amor? i’m not texting any other woman besides you.” sae nonchalantly jokes. shit— time went quicker than you’d thought. “ah, nn… just got a bit curious, babe…” you hum. “what were you looking at..?” he asks, and his eyes widen the moment he sees what you were reading. out of all the things on his phone, that was the last thing he wanted you reading.
he embarrassedly closes his phone. “so… what was all that writing about..? were you trying to be a poet?” you jokingly ask; you knew that sae wasn’t mad, per say… he was probably just embarrassed. “n..no… it was, ah…” he clears his throat. “it was just… something i typed out when i realized i had many observations about you that i needed to write down. i just got sidetracked while i was typing.” he explains.
you smile, your entire body feeling like you’re on fire. the love you feel for sae itoshi feels like too much to contain in your heart. “it was really sweet, sae…” you assure him. for some reason, you have the odd incentive to just… cry right now. you love him so much.
“i know. but, it’s also too sappy.” he huffs. “aw, don’t be so shy… i know you’re just a huge softie under that tough surface…” you tease, moving closer to cuddle up to his side. “im not soft. i just love you, okay?” he groans. “don’t make me say embarrassing things.”
your smile widens, making him look at you with that lovesick look in his eyes. “aww… well, i guess i know how much you love me now anyway, so that’s good enough..!” you mentally fist pump at this small victory.
the atmosphere suddenly feels light again as you start to chatter again, teasing him slightly before going back to what you were speaking about before he had left. and still, sae’s looking at you like you’re the world cup trophy, like you’re all he’s dreamed of.
and sae thinks…
‘…you’ll know how sappy i can get when it’s our wedding day.’
but he should save that for another 5 years, or so.
#blue lock#blue lock x reader#bllk#bllk fluff#blue lock sae#bllk x you#bllk x reader#bllk sae#sae itoshi x y/n#sae itoshi x you#sae itoshi#sae itoshi x reader#itoshi sae#blue lock sae itoshi#sae itoshi imagines#itoshi sae imagines
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Walk Walk Fashion Baby
Hi girlies new year new style ykwim anyway this is a pac that i have been wanting to make for a long time but i was like idk how many ppl will like it etc but now idc about all that i want to have fun so here it is!! Have fun and stay hydrated. muah <33 also my paid readings are open there are a few slots (15) if anyone's interested xx ciao <3 like and rb if you like xx
Masterlist / Paid Readings + FB / Tip jar
Pile 1
Hi pile 1! You need to try that classical, timeless, style, i know it can be annoying to look at all the beige and muted tones but its so much more than that like, picture this, a tailored blazer or high-waisted trousers that fit like a dream. tbh I am also getting pearls for some reason so maybe adding neckklaces as accessories can be something you are interested in to incorporate in your style next year. Start with a simple white shirt, a fitted black dress, or a pair of cut jeans. Then you can accesorise with delicate gold bracelet, a black bag, or a string of pearls again with the pearls they are calling for you right nowww.
Moreover, another style you can incorporate is just as sharp, and elegant so like the whole academia aesthetic, regardless of light or dark that doesn’t matter but what I am trying to say is, clothes with shape. Like cinched wastes and just clothes that create shape for you are like something you really should give thought to. It’s about being comfortable but also looking effortlesss while doing it all, I think basics like camis, just plain shirts/tshirts are something you need more of in your closet because theres so many ways to style them other than just for formal wear. Like one style inspo is literally Proncess Diana cannot get more elgant than her istg, enjoy muah <33
Pile 2
Y’all this is my pile you guys are my PEOPLE ok to begin with you need to stop being afraid of colour and looseness like not everything has to be tight and fitted especially just because the microtrend world says so. Experiment with “loud” colours and different textures, things you may have thought are “odd” and don’t look good, because trust me the way it can all be pulled together is crazy and so much fun!! Layer, the most important part, stack rings and bracelets and go for those colours that lowkey hurt your eyes because fashion is about colour and pattern and texture and taking all of it out of fashion just makes it dull imo.
Start with a bright coloured tshirt, maybe something like yellow, then layer on, very “indie kid” aesthetic like the high saturation stuff. Mixed with that I am also getting maximalism to the MAX layer layer layer, stack stack stack you should look like a walking apparell store (kidding) seriously though if you have been feeling like you want to experiment with something like this and oxidised jewellery and mixing different styles mainly because all of your wardrobe is mismatched (me) then go for it because I promise it will come out looking way better than you may have imagined.
Pile 3:
Ooo I love this, okay so very romanticised, very coquette but not really, this is also the pile which will look so good in pastels in lighter colours. All I am getting in my head are those pictures of people on picnics in their flowy outfits and dresses looking so pretty and at peace, bows and dellicate bangles, just a very dainty aesthetic im thinking light fabrics and romantic fashion like lace-trimmed dresses, pastel skirts and floral prints, very fairytaile-ish. Ruffles or embroidery too and just magical overall. Also the complete opposite of pile 2 here, minimalist aesthetic may suit you a lot so try it out next year!
I am talking about keeping it simple, not too much with the accessorising and maybe a staple or statement accessory piece that goes with everything and anything you wear. Also for some of you with this simplistic style, you may have to be pushed to try on something more glam too like a bold red lip when it comes to makeup, like be bolder with your makeup experiment with more purples, pinks and reds while keeping the outfits simpler.
All Rights Reserved tiamathh©® DO NOT PLAGIARISE, REWORD, STEAL!
#tarot reading#tarot readings#pick a card reading#pick a pile#pac reading#pac#pick a card#tarotblr#tarot cards
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Stuff for HB season 3
m&m relationship arc
while I think that ultimately they will keep the baby, millie and moxxie have a lot of stuff to work on first.
they married young and without knowing much about each other like their pasts. especially moxxie hiding his mob background.
this is their time for the relationship to evolve past the lovey-dovey gooey phase and enter something a bit more serious and with more depth.
they seem to be entering this already since they were able to voice some of their complaints about each other (moxxie watches too many musicals, millie snores, etc) during the sinsmas play fight.
but there will definitely be some angst and serious writing for them.
millie especially will be working on her dismissal of human lives as expendable in her role as an assassin.
perhaps there is a scene where she can't bring herself to kill a pregnant person/ someone with a new baby because she is going to be a mother herself.
octavia learns about what is expected of her as a goetia/ stolas's past
we as the audience have known from the beginning that stolas was forced from a young age to be what was expected of him and to marry/ produce an heir out of obligation.
but I think via has no idea about any of it.
stolas hide it from her because he wanted his child to grow up happy and carefree, without the crushing responsibilities he felt.
now that stella and Andy are in charge I have a feeling that they will be demanding a lot more of her, especially if Andy is looking to punish her for embarrassing him during the sinsmas fight.
honestly to hold on to his own power, he may try to marry her off.
this will allow via to understand how lucky and unique her life has been and how hard stolas worked to protect her.
im also thinking that loona will have a hand paw in this process too.
loona is a neutral party in the family messiness because 1) she is an adult and 2) she is adopted.
via is smart enough to know that loona won't automatically take blitz's side and if she does it must be for a good reason.
stolas unlearning his rich privileges
we have seen a bit of this during the month montage before Sinsmas but it was a lot of stolas being in shock/ feeling sorry for himself.
but stolas really must learn that even tho he had a miserable childhood and immense responsibilities, he also had WAY more of literally everything.
and that in order his level of power to exist, the rest of the hellborn (imps especially) must live in abject poverty.
Imp revolution
despite hellborn not liking stolas, blitz clearly is becoming a folk hero and his actions are leading to revolt.
this may be a season 4 thing, but I think that hell is headed for full on class warfare.
the hellborn will fight against the goetia and demand equal rights and maybe even democracy.
Ozzie and Bee will no doubt be involved because they have hellborn lovers and have always been supportive of the lower classes.
but the rest of the Sins will either be staunchly against or just uninterested.
barbie wire arc
we definitely need a resolution to her hatred of blitz and blaming him for the fire.
her seeing everyone praise blitz for his heroics will lead to a big confrontation about everything.
Anybody got other ideas? :)
#helluva boss#stolitz#stolas#viziepop#hellaverse#blitz#millie and moxxie#millie#moxxie#loona#helluva#helluva boss theory#helluva boss season 3#octavia#Andrealphus#stella goetia#imp#hellborn#sinsmas#spoilers
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Sorry I'm obsessed with bad ending teen dad stancest--
When Ford leaves home for college he takes Stan with him, Stan thinks it's fine, it's not their boat but it's basically what he used to wants, they're out of jersey and they're okay. Fiddleford asks him what he wants out of life sometimes but that question's made him sick since he was twelve and realized he wasn't smart enough to be much more than a housewife for whatever man he ended up with. Instead he tells Fiddleford he's gonna be a pirate, because it makes him laugh. Then Ford wants to go to Gravity Falls, and Stan's back to being alone with him. By the time they're 27 he's stopped trying to keep his hair short, he makes for a piss poor Ma as far as hes concerned but the twins aren't old enough to get that yet. Bill gets mad at Ford so Ford gets mad at Stan, and Stan sleeps on the floor next to the kids' beds because Ford's better than their father, he won't lay a hand on him in front of the kids, and Stan uses it because hes a conniving coward with a distant look in his eyes that their own Ma used to have.
But then the portal, it drives Fiddleford insane, Fiddleford tells him Ford is dangerous, that he's going to kill them. And Stan didn't believe it until he spent a night barricading a door covered in height marks and crayon while Bill tried to claw his way in and then the next morning when he caught Ford crying in front of the TV, Ford punched him full in the face in front of the twins.
So it was so easy, hitting Ford back for once, shoving him just a little too far and letting the portal take him away, leave Stan with the house and the kids and a new name to inherit and the freedom to cut his hair and get himself the glasses he needed and call himself Stan instead of what Ford called him.
SORRY IF I RAMBLED TOO MUCH IM EATING YOUR DRYWALL I NEED MORE AU--
would that be a win-lost or a win-win?
PLEASE PLEASE DON'T APOLOGISE WHEN YOU ARE GIVING ME EXACTLY WHAT I WANT, I LOVE YOU AND OF COURSE I'M GIVING YOU MORE DEAR ANON you and me are now friends and i don't take no for answer 🤭🤭💖💖💖 Also what a good name for this au, im using it now 😘
(tw: Transphobia, Misogyny, Abuse, a lot of implied noncon yadda yadda you already know where's this going 🤷)
Stanley needed something to hold on to try to survive this new life, it's not exactly what he always dreamed but it's not bad, he has ford and that's all he has always needed, isn't it? He can get used to, come on he has always been seen this way he can get through it.
But when he met Fiddleford those thoughts were becoming harder to support again, a new person, new air and new perspective. Sure he wasn't going to tell him all those crazy thoughts he had because that would make ford mad but he can express a little of it, fidds wouldn't ever know that those jokes were actually his dreams but at least he can say them and think a bit of them every once and then to distract a bit from the real life. Maybe... Who knows,maybe one day Ford wouldn't be this harsh with him and he and their kids could still sail the world once he's done with college! Joke's on him, of course they were going to do what ford had in mind and he can't say anything, after all if he's not in the streets is thanks to him so,heh, could be worse. going to miss fidds anyway...
But well, not time for thinking about himself, they are already grown adults and since he's not getting a job the least he can do is be a good as possible mom for their already 10-year-old twins. Ever since they've been in Gravity Falls, Stan can swear that he's seen all kinds of strange creatures but Ford seems delighted with it and only times he doesn't talk to him in a rude tone is when he says something about them so, it's not that scarier as it was the first times. He doesn't quite understand what Ford is actually doing with that information, but after that he goes to the basement and warns him and the kids to stay away from this as possible, and he's going to obey for his own sake.
...At least as much as he can because things are becoming even weirder, he has seen Ford obsess over an investigation before, but this time he seemed to be going genuinely crazy, not all bad tho, at least fidds was back again and having a new face in the place was genuinely a good thing for him, sure he was here for working but anyway stan would try to sneak up on them like bringing them something to drink after a long day of work in the basement, Ford wasn't so harsh when Fiddleford was around so he wasn't so scared to do that and share a few words with a good friend not knowing that ford would make him pay for that later.
« what did I tell you about going down the basement, [ ] ? You have your things upstairs with the kids. »
It was fine, he deserved it. He has never said anything about Ford's abuse, because ever his teenhood he knows he deserves it, He only knows how to screw things. Maybe if he hadn't broken that stupid machine ford would change his mind but he had to fuck it. Yes, he sometimes still daydreams about a world where ford could accept him, a world where ford would hug him often and not hurt him again and maybe, a world where he calls him stanley for once... but time has passed and his hope has faded away, Now he just wishes that thoughts to leave his mind once for all.
Suddenly things get worse. «they could?» it seems to be.
Ok, sleeping in the kids room wasn't so bad, sure the floor was cold and he only had a blanket in order to not die of hypothermia but at least he had his kids near him and that was fine, ford wouldn't try to make something to him with them near. Now, seeing the eyes of that friend he always thought of like a kind of safe place full of fear and warning him of such an unthinkable danger for him what's indeed something he would never forget and fuck shouldn't do it. He thinks he knew what Ford was capable to do, sure he's angry with him ever since and his touch is not the gentlest, but stan didn't think he would go so far as to endanger himself, much less his children... Seems like everything he thinks is really just bullshit, he says to himself while using his body to lock the door of the kids room while hearing those strange creepy laughs and scratches from behind the door.
Ok so things are going to be dangerous now, but the next morning when he sees ford crying with his hands in his face and his legs on the floor he gets second thoughts, something was wrong with ford, he don't get what but maybe he could...
So you know, Stan has endured a lot of things ford has done: the words, the insults, the abuse, the punches, the constant contempt and more but punching him in front of their kids was enough.
For the first time ever since that night in the bathroom floor stan had enough of ford and didn't even think twice before giving him the punch he has always deserved it. Not punch, punches.
HE was angry, HE was tired, and not even the cries of his little children in the background had made him stop while Ford tried, like the coward he really was, to flee from him when he saw that this time his blows were not saving him.
Funny, stan thought, « I always protected ya' from Crampelter and his herd, no matter what. Ya' we're afraid of givin' them a good punch but what about me, sixer? Are ya' scared of me now? »
Stanley was stupid, but he was stronger, even if ford has always despised him for being born as a woman, HE was stronger than him and for once he wasn't scared of his rejection.
But.. sure he didn't expect what happened next. He has never seen what he and fidds were doing in the basement and now, he knew it even less.
He was angry but fuck he didn't mean that! Why does everything have to be so complicated towards Ford? Fuck!
...On the bright side, those 30 years will serve Stanley well to realize everything that his brother held him back from for years, guess who's the one being welcomed with a punch in the face here. 😗
So, you can say the bad ending au got a good ending? Lol 🙆
#stancest#teen stancest#80s stancest#stancest prompts#teen dads au: bad ending edition#sorry i find it funny 🤣🤣🤣#i love you dear anon#made by me lol
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What if the Joker was blue and orange
#better call saul#bcs#jimmy mcgill#kim wexler#howard hamlin#chuck mcgill#fanart#i don't really like this but. whatever#gonna use another program from now on because im having issues with ibis#been obsessed with doing things a very particular way on ibis and it's both time consuming and not even worth it#and i can't break out of that habit so i think i just need something new#also yay character lineup#maybe gonna do another one with the rest of the main cast if i feel like it#i just had to draw these guys first because they're my favs and i prefer the lawyer part of bcs anyway#jimmy isn't exactly in line with the others but i can't really fix it because i arranged my layers in a pretty stupid way#so just pretend it's a metaphor or something#spent way too much time trying to make chuck's gut look right i feel like a freak
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the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here
#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness#(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so#lets see how that develops you know#also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it#not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but#im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing#to complain abt it anyway#the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy#maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness#i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character#in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now#like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains#in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think#or maybe you can! but i'll find that out#i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh#always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do#bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really#but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all#remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe#saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post#all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story#whos Other is story#where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story#ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe
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Yeah we've already talked about how outright stupid the lore n writing for modern Doom is, but tbh I can understand why they had to do something with Doomguy, why they had to make him The Specialest Boy instead of Just Some Guy. Do I like how they did it? No, I would've taken it a different direction. Do I think that hugo could've done it well even if he took it in the direction I would've? No, I have minimal faith in his story writing. But realistically, how many times can a guy singlehandedly accomplish the impossible before you have to acknowledge he's very much not Just Some Guy who happened to be at the right place at the right time? I think that, with how every single other person on the Phobos UAC base were killed in Doom I, doomguy stopped being Just Some Guy the moment he decided to do anything other than just lie down and die.
#pikspeak#im sure this is old news what with eternal being 4 years old now but. idk ive been thinking abt it.#i dont like the 'you were a chosen one from the very beginning!' trope too much#makes it feel a little like what the character actually does doesnt really have any significance#like if they were the chosen one who was going to win from the very beginning then why does it matter.#its the whole free will vs predestiny argument and. idk. i just think it could be done better.#no modern doomguy cannot be just some guy anymore but. it couldve been done a lot better. let him have been just a normal guy who had the#option to be normal and die but chose not to and through his own actions made himself significant#then again. maybe it wasnt the moment he didnt stay down that he became significant. i do like the idea of blazko having something to do#with it. i do like the idea of blazko having picked up the spear having something to do with it.#but still. 'youre actually a god and you were going to be this powerful Always' is just. not appealing. let him have some influence in his#own power. u dont even need to take the thing w the divinity machine out. just make him a separate entity from davoth instead of davoths#clone/destined counterpart. let dg make the decision to rise to davoths level instead of saying he was always there from the beginning.#sigh. i couldve written eternals story so much better. and yet. somehow i am still repeatedly drawn back to it. sighing smh.
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probably going to rework my human bellum design again
#surprise surprise im still not satisfied with it but i think i have the base down#might just rework his clothing a liiiiitle and maybe like. give him at least slightly darker skin#he still comes off as edgy or some shit to me. i still want to stick with the violent delinquent sorta angle#i just feel like its a bit much or whatever. he just seems too unremarkable but also too detailed#or something. with the scars all over. maybe its bc i cant picture him v well in the game artstyle? but ive never cared much abt that#tho looking at the comms ive gotten of him. he seems fine. the x on the eyepatch might be a bit much#maybe he can customize it when he materializes it idk and the x is a default. its made of sand when you inspect it#it might also help to write him more. force myself to think abt him in situations#in other news im thinking abt damien possible post ph healing magic. i like the idea i have#i really need to fiure out more defined post ph arcs it does bother me how aimless it is#i know vague stuff but very little specifics. it needs a fucking plot#i do want to keep bellums human form making him look closely related to link. i like that#its funny if nothing else#salty talks#damiens fine hes just a guy he doesnt need anything too fancy. if i think abt it too long my certainty dissolves#wow i love being insecure ablut my ideas. i love rsd. ohhhhhhhhh boyyy#now its a minor vent. w/e. at rhis rate im. gonna start talking abt how my job scheduled me on a shift#with the literal bare minimum number of scheduled workers so if its slightly busy its going to be a living hell#at least i get paid for closing so when closing inevitably takes over an hour bc i have to do it alone im getting paid more#if i wasnt motivated by money itd be so fucking over for me in the workforce
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I had spent years wanting nothing more than to get out of the place I used to live and move back up north and just rotting in a pool of depression because of how much that place fucking sucks, and when I finally got the chance to move back up north I like. Told myself not to hype it up too much because it isn’t going to fix everything, there’s other problems in my life that I’m going to have to work on still and I was really worried I would move to the new place and still be depressed but this time have no more scapegoat “this will fix me if I can get there” solution to hang onto because now I’ve achieved the thing I had always told myself would fix my depression. but like. no i was right. I’ve been here a few months, more than enough time for depressive phases to come and go and my mental state is so much infinitely better here. Like I actually want to go outside. I actually enjoy looking out the window. the bad thoughts still appear as I know they always will but fighting them off is so much fucking easier. The depression doesn’t stay when it comes knocking. There are still the few other life problems I know I need to solve but now I actually have the self confidence to try to do so instead of wallowing in untamable anxiety afraid of heading anywhere else because I might do it wrong
#it’s genuinely strange how much fixing life problems has also just fixed like… my self confidence?#I can’t tell how much of it is tied to the fact that I finally broke away from the friend group that always made me feel subordinate#maybe also because I’m away from my mom who I love but coddles me way too much#but I feel so much less Scared to Do Shit#like I got new ram for my pc. and it rocks. and I’ve needed to do it for a Long Long time#but I was never confident enough to do so before because I was afraid I would mess it up or something?#i was too afraid to touch my pc what if I break it. what if I break it forever and fuck everything up#but like. there was no fear about that now. I do think getting away from my old friends is a huge part of that actually#Im my own person now and I want to do things#ok goodnight
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I'm just kinda thinking over what could it been had things gone just. Just every so slightly better
Had some fundamentals been challenged further
Had the right words be spoken
Had they didn't go all in
It's just so sad, because I ultimately do see them working on the right scenarios, but they're all just...fantasy, a fleeting dream, the unreachable
Oughhhh I love them so much. They're so doomed
#perceptive little crow#this is about teopeka btw#i just listened to something good can work and it was like 'man. this would've been the ideal'#because YES i do believe the first phase of their relationship was full of hope for the future for both ends#peka just found himself on a new world that seemed detached from the previous. he could start anew#tbh tho teo simply followed out of pity and a bit of hopelessness. I wouldn't be surprised if her life was just kinda shaking a couple days-#before she met peka. and after seeing what he was capable of she kinda just....relaxed. knowing it may go well after all#it was a gamble she took. but damn did it pay off. and she gets to enjoy the benefits for a fair amount too#then The Incident happened#then a new department that was the opposite of what she advocate for formed on the company she wanted to create#then she started being pushed more and more on administrative/executive roles and was basically out of the field#then she felt disconnected of her world. her passion. her people#no place to go to no shoulder to land on. she wasn't alone she just....was a deeply lonely woman at the end#sorry. im not even sure if this actually fits the direction I'd like her to go to on my au/fanfic. but ig it fits#anyways. maybe had stuff gone differently she would've enjoyed the benefits all the way through#she maybe could've had both sides of the cake#who knows#it's just kinda interesting to think about the gambles she took went it came to hlev/peka. both on moments of desperation/loneliness#both the same weird ass guy that she saw at first and went 'what the fuck is his deal'#both just...so endearing she can't help but love them#maybe she needs them as much as they need her#maybe any and all their relationships never were meant to last#but that's kinda dooming it further and honestly I'd like to see a happy ending (where i get to be with my crush x3!!!!!!)#so I'll leave one side to rot and the other to bloom. easy.#sorry im rambling too much now. night night
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...
#feelin weird. feelin real weird. in a bad way? no i guess not but more like im a haha wtf is happening here?#like i should maybe track my mood just so i can be like wtf is this? more bc i think its interesting#bc like i mean im spending ~11hrs in the lab and the stress has been real high and ive not been sleeping well#but like currently? i feel like i wanna run a mile. like i wanna run around in circles and scream and laugh until i cry#too much energy. too much energy. but y? where is it coming from? its weird#its like the edge of a headache. the cusp of turning. it doesn't quite feel bad yet but like i woke up at 4#and was insane until 6 when i had to get up and then i was in the lab all day until 6.30#and immediately i went for a run like empty stomach. i need to run now. and i still feel like that. like i need to run and run and run#but like y am i not exhausted? im not even tired? im vibrating#i watched the new successi0n episode twice and im losing my mind abt it#so its weird and i dont understand. but its not bad. it feels out of control like it feels fucked up but im not being like irradic#like if i was standing beside someone i dont think theyd notice. except maybe my sister bc i think if i talked id be noticeable#energetic. idk maybe im just exhausted and brain is pumping me with stress hormones so i csnt stop but i also csnt feel it#but i suspect its something to do with estrogen and progesterone levels changing which isnt great bc ive got a cycle that borders being#concerningly short but like idk rn its fun. im sure itll break and ill split apart but rn everything feels hilarious#its also weird bc im always like: y do i have so much energy after i dont sleep? is not sleeping thr answer. and today i was like hm#maybe i cant sleep bc i have too much energy. hm. idk its not bad. it doesn't feel bad#it just feels interesting and notable so im noting it. weird stuff. hopefully it pulls me thru tomorrow#bc my back fucking hurts lmao and its monday so ppl r back in the lab as i stand around for 11 hours#unrelated
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I always have to remind myself that I don’t need to push myself to make art, and I don’t need to apologize or feel bad for not making a lot of art. art is something that should make me feel happy, so if I’m pushing myself to the point of not enjoying it anymore, then I should just stop and calm down for a second. and take some time for myself. Art won’t disappear, it will always be there waiting for me again, its okay for me to take some time doing others things sometimes.
#sorry this is a bit negative. most of the art i’ve been making latelyis personal/ocs so i dont post it here and thats been stressing me out#since im scared a lot of people are expecting things from my art that i cant give#my art changes a lot because i get inspired by so many things each day. and a lot of my designs are personal and mean a lot to me#so seeing other people like them is both a happy thing for me. but also so scary.#most people i see post art in fandoms im in will post so much of it so often#so i think i subconsciously think that i have to do that too. Make a bunch of art super fast and i HAVE to post ALL of it#but from the things that disabled me to just. that not being how i do things. i cant keep up with that#art takes a long time for me to feel happy with. And i dont always have the motivation or energy to finish all my drawings#Or even do things past a messy sketch#so i keep most things to myself for one reason or another#i dont know it just feels like everyone needs to have things “now now now. fast fast fast” nowadays.#or else the stuff you make isnt worth it. or isnt as good as everything else. In the case you make art late into joining the fandom#I think someone called it fast consumerism? or something? But yeah its just#bad. i dont like it at all#sorry for the long tags. i might stop posting as much art for a bit so i can take some time for myself.#go outside more. learn a new hobby. maybe even join a club or something#if you read through this hi. feel free to ask for my toyhouse if you want to see my ocs or whatnot.#I was very lax on checking my grammar here. not sorry this time. im getting seen for dysgraphia and im tired and need a break#myposts#rambling
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i need to consume a piece of media that will emotionally impact me forever. i need to watch a movie or play a game that will leave me crying and sobbing desperately. i need something that i will think about forever. i need something that i will be able to say "means a lot to me", something that will influence my life permanently, something that will make me think about things and make me better as a person. i need undertale 2
#best way i can explain my genuine desire to experience sometimes important#i think my life has been so stagnant i just feel the need for something that will change everything#something that will be important and impactful#because im bored and i need something new#and i miss the emotional catharsis of experiencing a really important piece of media for the first time#i havent really consumed anything new since i read homestuck two years ago and im starting to get bored again#not because homestuck doesnt mean anything to me anymore its still one of the most important things ive consumed media wise#but by now i just need something new. maybe im just thinking too much of media and i just truly want a change in my life#who knows
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im glad that despite being on the backburner for . years. i can still think of my main aus like i never stopped :] kh on the brain forever
#looked thru one of my note for the pmd au and immediately got new ideas for it . i am so fucking back#made me wanna expand whats going on w Terra n Aqua since they dont have much going on besides. well. be legendaries basically#(they take the roles of rescue team Groudon n Kyogre as well as Latios n Latias in psmd. n technically also Entei for Terra in psmd)#that seems like a lot but i know what im doing i swear 👍#maybe i should find a way to include the khdr kids since i havent gotten to that yet.. could be fun#oh ! also been working on ways to connect Terra w Ansem n Xemnas :] probably gonna be more canon-esque than most other things#but it kinda works w the rescue team part of the timeline#and i really need to figure out how exactly to work around Xehanort bc of what he can and does do both in canon and taking his role here..#ironically these things are also backed up by pmd iq groups . now that i think abt it#i also need yo do more work on the psmd part of the timeline since its arguably the most altered part so far#since i dont really cover gates or rescue team anyway . explorers and super just connect a lil too well#i mean tbf gates and super are way too easy to also connect to each other bc like. come on.#but who would be the duo for that .. or maybe it could be earlier in the pmd timeline than it is .. hm.#that Could line up a something else i have planned actually. could be funky. theres two (2) different duos i have in mind#maybe more depending on who else i could slap in here#ok yeah. i have objectively the funniest duo to put in gates. thats happening now <3
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funny update a couple of months later for People Who Want to Know: i dont have the car that got me into this Incredibly Minor Accident anymore. while after the accident, i did have to get the brakes serviced (wow, they were faulty, who knew!), it proceeded to have Several More Issues, such as: the transmission being fucked up and Trouble With Turns. i still drove it regardless because i needed that shit to get to college but eventually the radiator fan stopped working on it (where it would start overheating if the car wasn't moving (if the car was moving then air could still blow over the engine, cooling it down)) and My Mother deemed it too dangerous to drive. RIP to the shitty 2012 jeep liberty hand-me-down with 200k miles that led to the creation of the Kim Moment(TM).
need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago
(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)
#also i have not had any Kim Moments since. SAD!#very funny to me all the people with systems relating w/ this. unfortunately my brain likes to play with characters like dolls and it will#do this to me sometimes. shoutout to the times when someone would text something to me and then id envision what one of my OCs would respon#with in my head. adhd hyperfixation moment if i can be quite honest.#also i never got a follow up from the other guy that i got into the accident with so im assuming his car is okay. thumbsup emoji#and i havent been in any accidents since so erm... w for me!#(i have only been driving this new car for like 5 days and im Nervous. and ill be driving it more than my old car because im Getting Job#soon.... ough)#i remember the day that My Mother decided the car was too unsafe to drive very clearly. because it happened recently.#for some context: i live 30 minutes away from one of the campuses of my college. but the campus i need to actually attend (because it's the#campus with all of the IT shit at it woo network admin) is a full on hour away and also located inside a big city. thankfully the campus i#live near has a service that sends a bus between those two campuses so i can drive to that campus#and then get on the bus for the remaining 30 mins it takes to get there#now imagine you're me. because of fears developed by having Childhood ADHD i am very afraid of being late for ANYTHING. because i need to#rely on the bus schedule between the two campuses#every day i make sure to leave at least 30 mins earlier than i realistically could. this is both because if i dont i'll be Late To Being#Early but also despite my route not going across any major roads#i live in Suburban Bumfuck Town and the two-lane roads i use to travel are the exclusive lifelines to the rest of Everywhere Fucking Else#so they have a tendency to get backed up when backups happen in Everywhere Fucking Else (could specify more but i dont wanna doxx myself :p#cue The Day. i am Driving to College. i already have some knowledge that my car seems to have some trouble with cooling itself down#but i'm not sure what the cause is or how big of a problem it is yet. unbeknownst to me an Accident has occured on one of the major routes#in my area. as I'm approaching to be about 10 mins away from the campus i start to see evidence of The Traffic because of this.#while being just a dinky two-lane road this shit is practically bumper-to-bumper. moving at a snail's pace#and i imagine it's likely because people are being jackasses about merging onto this road from the people who have had their route#unexpectedly diverted because of the accident.#so im sitting there in the traffic. the car is not moving or it is moving very slowly across short distances.#DING! goes the car. ah crap the engine temp is starting to get high... maybe being stopped is what causes it i think to myself#so now i am Slightly Worried. the car has Dinged. and i might even be Late to School because of the traffic. but surely the cars gonna be#fine driving me the rest of the way right?#advance forward in time about like 5 minutes. i have moved forward but not much. i am near the gas station i usually refill at en route
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There's a well 🎉
#rat rambles#I forgot to post this since I headed to shower straight after finding it but I am suddenly thinking I might be able to find an ending#Immmm not sure how much waiting will be involved so I probably wont get it tonight but. grabby hands#I also worry there might be some rng or smth similar thatll make me have to wait longer due to the dreams#they showed this same place but theres two different ppl who can be in the dreams#one old man and one younger man#and based on what the face said I probably need the old man to be the one using the well#so hopefully that wont be too annoying to wait for#now ofc. Im worried this will go poorly. especially if it Is an alternative ending. especially given how early you can get here#Ive fumbled around a lot and its still only been about 2 in game weeks#and if Im not mistaken theres only two major waits you would have to do to get here not counting the door that takes 2 hours to open#but yeah if Im remembering correctly you only need to wait for a spider to spin its web and for a mushroom to grow#so you could theoretically get there very quickly if you use your books wisely#which feels a bit easy for a good ending so I worry for the poor lil fella#based on what Ive pieced together so far it doesnt seem like the alternative ending(s) will be much better#one of them is ofc. death. but the actual waiting out the counter one is probably maybe also sort of death I think#theres not a lot of info I have access to when it comes to the king but based off of that one face dialogue and the shade's dialogue in the#white crystal room I have a feeling the king is going to do smth similar to a certain other king and freeze the world or smth like that#Im saying freeze because my current bet is that hes going to turn everything into stone#which isnt great and Id generally speaking like to avoid that#I have some vague theories abt the shade as well but theyre a lot more wibbly wobbly#rn Im kind of interpreting them as a sort of manifestation of the weak will of a man who has already given up on the world#aka the last of the kings will that he will need to have the will to wake up in 400 days#but that will evidently is stronger than both he and the shade expected given that theyve made it this far#even a weak will has the capacity to hope for something better#idk this is more in the realm of personal interpretation than theory I just think the shade is neat#man its nice playing new games I should do this more (<- says guy who doenst have money)#anyways I hope the shade doesn't get completely fucked over by this ending#Im fine with it being underwhelming if it needs to I just want the shade to be able to touch grass
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